Monday, January 28, 2008
For The Love Of Thin Mints
How many girl scout cookies would it take to send someone into a diabetic coma?? Stay tuned, cause Howie may just find out the answer to that question. Yes my friends, it's that time of year again. Girl Scout cookie time. Aside from the fantasy football draft, there is not a more dreaded time of year for me because Howie becomes a full blown cookie addict!
About a week ago he started having wet dreams about Trefoils and Tagalongs. Then he started drawing doodles of dosidos and Samoas. But the piece de resistence are the thin mints. He's already cleared a shelf in the upstairs and downstairs freezers for his chocolaty mistresses. Then Sunday I heard the dreaded sound. Delighted giggles traveling up our walkway and aimed at our front door. For a moment I wondered if I could pretend that we weren't home but knew that the kids would make that charade near impossible. Damn! Here they come, those green covered tweenies with their knee high socks and sashes full of gymboree patches. Don't get me wrong, I love Girl Scouts, I used to be one. Well, first I was a brownie and then I was a girl scout. I remember when I was in 3rd grade I wore my girl scout uniform for my school picture. It didn't turn out as quite the wholesome look I was after cause you could still see the black eye I had just gotton from fighting with a little boy on the playground. Yeah, I wasn't exactly living by "the Girl Scout law" that day.
Anyway, Howie has many "dealers" to support his habit. He's got the daughter of one of his co-workers to supply him with all the work snacks he needs. Lord knows how many boxes he buys. Last year I think he ordered 15!!! There's no proof cause he only uses cash in an effort to conceal his shame. Then there's the little neighborhood girls who come by in droves because they know that Mr. Steeler is the guy to see when wanting to hit high sales numbers! Finally, when sales are on the downslope, there's always the little girls that sit in front of Stop N Shop or the post office to get rid of their extra inventory. I always know when they set up camp cause Howie starts offering to do some grocery shopping or buy stamps.
He keeps boxes of cookies stashed all over the house; in the freezer, in the pantry and the cabinets. He has a box in both his home and work desks, a box in his car and one in the garage. I swear he would keep one under the bed for a midnight snack if I weren't giving him shit about it! I guess it's the Eagle Scout in him trying to "Be Prepared" for running out of cookies.
"But I'm just helping meet their goals so that the troop can go to the caribbean." Yeah, what's up with that anyway. When I was a girl scout our troop goal was to have an ice cream social and the top seller got a boom box. Now, they rake in thousands of dollars in sales, take trips to exotic locations and top sellers can win laptops and game systems! It's cut throat out there. I keep telling Howie that he needs to make sure that his suppliers don't find out about each other or else he might end up with "you suck" shoe polished across his front and back windshields! Not to mention the TP'ing of our house on Halloween and the fact that every girl in the neighborhood will rebuff our requests for babysitting!
Maybe I should look on the bright side. Next year when Birdie starts Girl Scouts we won't even have to go out and sell cause Howie will buy the whole damn order sheet! Plus, all those guys at work will owe Howie big time. After all, how can they refuse to buy cookies from Birdie, if Howie sent their daughter to Bermuda the year before?? :-)
What is your favorite Girl Scout cookie? cookies?