...what you would see if you happened to look through our curtains at night: Me standing at the kitchen sink washing dishes while my family plotted against me.
Howie: "Hey Birdie, you think I can pinch your mom in the butt with this dinosaur before she smacks me?"
Birdie: *giggles* "Do it, do it, do it!"
Me: "If you would like to keep your dangly parts safe, I would suggest you re-think your evil plan."
Howie: "Look Birdie, look!" *lunges to get me right in the ass*
Birdie: *fits of giggles*
Me: "I'm totally going to spray you with the sink sprayer so don't even try it."
Howie: "Okay Birdie, you do it... *hands her the dinosaur*
Birdie: "Gotcha mom!"
Me: *Aims and fires a soaking stream of water that drenches Birdie*
Howie: "Don't worry Birdie, I'll get her for you." *cautiously tries to sneak a bite of my ass*
Me: *drenches Howie so much that his nipples are poking out of his shirt like he's in some kind of kinky wet t-shirt contest*
Howie and Birdie: *slipping and giggling*
They continued to slip and slide all over the soaking kitchen, trying to bite me with that damn dinosaur. I continued to soak them till they were dripping in never-been-boiled contaminated town water. And by tomorrow morning they will both have boils all over their bodies and their hair will have fallen out. Maybe that'll teach 'em to think twice before they aim that stupid dinosaur at my hind quarters again!