Tuesday, September 9, 2008

A PSA About Dirty Panties

I can't believe I am actually going to write a blog about this but I figure I've told you all my stories about flaming vaginas and lost tampons so what's a little dirty panty story, huh?

Every since I can remember I've had a problem with my underwear. By the
end of each day, I noticed that the crotch area of the panties had turned yellow or sometimes brown! Some days my underwear would be totally white but by the next morning had stained. It always made me feel so gross and dirty and I was really embarrassed and self conscious about it. When I was a teenager I wouldn't let my mom see or wash my clothes, preferring to do it myself in secrecy. When I moved in with Howie I would go to great measures to hide my underwear from him because I didn't want him seeing something like that and go thinking that I was disgusting. Lucky for me the man has never once done a load of laundry in the 11 years we've been together so I've never had a close call.

I knew there was nothing WRONG with me in terms of infections or anything like that. There was no real smell or problems other than the stains and I just couldn't figure out where it comes from. I don't have colored discharge and it can't be blamed on a period either. One time I bought some black and dark blue underwear thinking I could outsmart the system. That's when my body decided to switch things up on me and instead of stains, the crotches in my black panties got bleached out! *sigh*

This was always my dirty little secret. I assumed that it was only me that dealt with this but then a while back I happened to be talking to a girlfriend and spoke frankly about the problem and she confessed to dealing with the same issue. I was really relieved but still thought that were were the exception not the rule.

I did some research online and apparently it's a HUGE problem for most all women but is a completely normal, albeit disgusting part of womanhood. It's also something we never, EVER talk about. Because we think that we are supposed to be ladies and ladies are always clean and never sweat, fart or burp. We especially don't have stained underwear! It's not bad enough that our boobs hurt, our ankles swell, our insides cramp, our periods last for nearly 4 decades and we have to push babies out of an opening the size of dime, but we also have to endure stained underwear?

For being completely "normal" it sure does leave it's mark. It's strong enough to leave permanent marks on my white bloomers and bleach out black ones. I keep waiting to pull my drawers out of the dryer and find holes in the crotch like it's been dissolved by hydrochloric acid!

I found out that as Doctor Oz says, "vaginas are self cleaning ovens", they produce fluids that keep us clean down there. When that fluid comes into contact with sweat and underpants, it leaves a mark. So, unless there is a foul smell or weird discharge, the marks are completely normal. It doesn't mean you are dirty, in fact it means just the opposite. Your vagina is doing a good job at keeping you clean! Just so you know that you are not alone and are completely normal. And if you are a man who happens to see these things in your woman/girlfriend's undies, get used to it. It comes along with having a woman who will let you put your penis in her vagina. Small price to pay if you ask me! Besides, think of all the gross stuff you do that she puts up with :-)

Well, I should be off. I need to buy new underwear and buy a years worth of panty liners :-)

1 comment:

  1. I believe a repost from MyS, but I still adore it! Ah, the dirty truth about panties. Always good to get the word out that it isn't always, as in "Me, Myself and Irene", a little extra cheese on the taco!


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