Me: "Okay Birdie, time to brush your teeth."
Birdie: "No, I can't brush my teeth tonight."
Me: "Whaddaya mean you can't brush your teeth?"
Birdie: "I can't brush my teeth when my poop is hard!"
Me: *Rolling eyes and sighing*
And she wonders why half of the teeth in her mouth are covered with caps! By the way, she lost this battle. I told to bring her hard poopy butt to the bathroom because Santa was watching at that very second and she didn't want him to see her being uncooperative! Then he'd have to move her to the naughty list and bring her a big fat lump of coal for Christmas. Man, I love Santa. He's the best leverage a parent can buy. Just tonight the kids cleaned up their messes and played nicely and only gouged one of each other's eyes out instead of the normal two. I bet if I played my cards right I'd be able to get one to hand feed me tiny marshmallows while the other one massages my feet and the third fans me with a giant feather!