Sunday, November 1, 2009

Fall-ing Out Of Love

At the beginning of fall, I boasted to friends and family how much I enjoy this season. What's not to love? There are leaves of every color and beautiful mums and ripe apples and sweet cider and plump pumpkins and crisp air and the list goes on and on.

There is just something so beautiful and wonderful about the fall. But then something happens. The colors fade and the wind starts blowing and all of those once beautiful leaves turn into brown debris that covers everything and when I say everything, I mean EVERYTHING!

The leaves cover our lawn and are embedded in our deck lattice. They blow into our garage and are wedged in our mums. They blanket our back yard and overall make everything into a giant mess.

I spent a good chunk of the day mowing which vacuums up the leaves. Then I used the leaf blower to clear the rest of the yard and the driveway and part of our back yard. I gathered the leaves and placed them into a gigantic compost pile. Then I raked and everything looked neat and tidy. That night, Howie didn't get home until it was dark outside so he didn't get to see what a great job I had done but I went on and on about how many leaves I had collected and how the pile was so ginormous, so deep that when the kids jumped into it, I first had to don them with a jacket and a rope harness so that when they fell into the leaf abyss I could eventually pull them out.

Then I complained that my back hurt because I gathered all of the leaves into a tarp and drug that tarp across the lawn so that I could dump it into the woods. And I complained about how the leaf blower while slightly enjoyable thanks to all of the buzzing, it leaked gasoline all down my back and into my pants (and subsequently my ass) and then I smelled like a gas tank and how I had to be very careful when we carved pumpkins that night and tested them by lighting a candle inside because I was very afraid that the back of my clothes (and subsequently my ass) would catch fire and melt off.

I bragged that I went through two tanks of gasoline and had blisters on my hands from all of the raking. Then I said, "just you wait till the morning and you get to see what a great job I did." We went to bed and that night the wind kicked in and some rain poured and when I woke up the next morning I looked out the window and all I could do was sigh and say, "well ain't that some shit" because not only did the yard not look good, it looked WORSE than it had before I cleaned it!

And when Howie looked out the window to see the fruits of my labor, I could clearly see that he doubted I had done anything, let alone slaved and blistered and came very close to combustion.

Stupid leaves. Stupid wind. Stupid fall.

Now I have to do it all over again. I have to rev up the mower and re-fill the blower and get re-acquainted with the rake. *groan* You'd think that by this time I'd be used to fruitless, futile labor. After all, it's the same story with the dishes and the laundry and the bills!

Oh well, I guess the kids will have another chance to fall into another leafy black hole :-)


  1. Ugh. Same thing here. We really need to invest in a leaf-blower.

  2. Ahh, fall! We don't have a lot of leaves, so we are comfortable enough waiting for the wind to take them or the snow to cover them!


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