Thursday, March 22, 2012

A Vicious Pitbull

You know how "they" are always saying that pitbulls are dangerous and vicious and deadly? Well, "they" are right. Except that it's not in the way you might be thinking.

This is our dog Cocoa. 

She's a one year old,  fiery, redheaded Sagittarius who loves long walks in the park and who would pledge her undying love for you if you scratched her butt. And is she vicious? YES! But not from the front end.

It's not her sharp teeth or powerful jaws that should terrify you. If you put your face in hers she wouldn't bite. She would; however, try to stick her tongue down your throat. She's fond of the French kissing.

No, it's her butt that you need to be worried about. Her wagging tail can knock over a 200 pound adult who isn't tipsy. If it hits you, it feels like you've been slapped with a bull whip and you'll be left with bruises and welts.

 And then there's the gas that comes out of that end! Mercy! It can simultaneously melt the paint from the walls and collapse your lungs. If I could bottle the stuff, I'd make a fortune selling it to the military who could commence chemical warfare and disable entire countries with it. Al Qaida would surrender within seconds of it being pumped into mountain caves.

Oh she's dangerous alright. She's vicious and deadly for sure...especially if she's had cheese!

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