Wednesday, June 13, 2012

Learning to say "No"

My kids get out of school tomorrow and I am SO excited! This year has really kicked me in the butt and I'm so ready for rest and relaxation.  Plus, I miss my kids.  They are gone all day at school.

I'm guessing they will be driving me crazy after a week but it's still going to be great to have them around fighting and touching each other, running in the house and not asking permission to use each other's toys.  No really.  It's going to be great because at least there won't be an alarm clock nagging at me and lunch boxes hungry to be stuffed and backpacks waiting to be checked.

Nobody will be searching for a sock at half past a second before the bus comes.  We can sleep in and when the kids wake up, they can pile in my bed and watch cartoons before breakfast. It'll be nice to have nowhere to be and nothing to do because I'm running on empty and I need a break.

I need to be better at balancing my life, at helping out where I can but not over-involving myself in things that take time away from me and my family. This last year I was an epic fail in that department. I was room mom for two kids, did PTO fundraisers, helped run a daisy girl scout troop and shuttled kids around to seemingly endless activities. All of those things are pretty normal kinds of mom things but I always end on taking more than what is necessary.

My husband had work and boy scouts and golf and meetings and travel and so many times we couldn't even have a basic family dinner because one of us has to be somewhere by 6pm.  It was all a misappropriation of our priorities if you as me.

I need to be better at this and set an example for my kids. 

Meetings that interfere with family dinners should be banned.  Sleepovers that interfere with church? Outlawed!  Anything, and I mean anything short of emergency surgery or sudden death, that interferes with date night, should be shot, stuffed and hung on a wall as a display of our victory over inconsequential distractions.

When I imagine myself on my death bed (I don't do that often, that would be creepy- but for the purposes of this blog lets pretend I do), I don't imagine myself saying:

"If only I had devoted more time to PTO meetings.  If only I had let my kids take more swimming lessons."

No, first off, I don't want to have any regrets when I die but if I do have any, I would bet that they would revolve around not spending enough time being in the present or spending too much time doing useless stuff or spending too much time being angry.

I want to give myself the permission to not only say "no" but not feel guilty about it. Can I hear an "Amen!"

Honestly, this is not without sacrifice.  We are going to have to let some things go.  It might be painful.  There might be temper tantrums and crying and bargaining going on.  And don't even get me started on what the kids will be doing!


  1. Ugh, I can very much relate. My kids do not even have scheduled activities yet and I find that I fill up every day with something anyway- business. And then, when I feel that my schedule is too full I get overwhelmed and tend to swing waaaay to the other end and not commit to doing ANYTHING- which is bad too. Honestly very hard for me to find a balance.

    1. It's comforting to know that I'm not alone in this! Feast or famine is my M.O. too!

  2. It really is hard to find a balance. I do think you are right, though. Kids have so much on their plates with school alone these days, sometimes anything beyond homework seems overwhelming to me. Maybe we can spend some time doing nothing together, all together, this summer!

  3. and soon you'll be writing about making that last school lunch like I did today !!! Do we ever really figure it out ?? I love the way you express what we all have felt !

    1. I read that and it made me sad :( I hope that my kids turn out as amazing as yours did!


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